2024.01.13 Signature at Coombe Hill
Programme:
Bach French Suite No.5
Clara Schumann Variation on a Theme by Robert Schumann Op.20
Robert Schumann Kreisleriana Op.16
Oh My God today I had a full hall!! At least 30 people, all are the residents from the care home. I went in and started to warm up with Schumann Kinderszenen. Although it was a terrible terrible most terrible warm-up (as I forgot most of the pieces after 3 months not touching them but apparently I thought my brain is super brain can remember everything I played!) my audiences began to gather, and by the time I started my official pieces, it was a full hall!
And generally it went very well. Everybody was happy and I received a very very warm applause. They are such such a lovely and wonderful audience!! Really really enjoying playing for them. And the best of all..... they can tolerate my mistakes .....
Okay my biggest problem right now ... I am just always having problems with my memory !!!!!!! GOSH!!!!! How do I solve this problem!!!!!
Whenever I asked other people about this, everyone starts to comfort me: you know we are human beings, everyone makes mistakes don't take it too harsh blablablablablablabla. But the thing is I know that's all bullshit. My previous teacher said something true: "Well you walk all the time so you may fall down occasionally, but if you fall down every time, that must be something wrong!"
HOWEVER, sadly he didn't tell me what's wrong and how to change it........
I guess I just really need to finger this out by myself.
Actually I already have two plans in head which I am going to try.
Plan A:
I am going to make a cup of tea sitting in my garden and put my music on my lap and begin to use my brain to memorise everything. I was actually told this method by Steven Osborne.....emmmm.... 7 years ago I guess??? But my brain is just over toooooooo lazy never wants to do the job so ...... and now it comes to a state that I am willing to try anything!! As long as it can make me deliver a perfect performance!!! (Don't tell me there is no such thing called a perfect performance, I mean the perfect one in my heart at least)
Plan B:
I am going to run-through everything before the concert several time, and no matter where happens to be wrong I am going to play it 20 times until its okay. I know it's a very stupid method but I am not a clever person anyway, and I can use my diligence to make up for my stupidity... hopefully....
I will come back and tell how these two plans work. The next test would be the next month concert in the Battersea Place. They only have an upright piano and I am FOR SURE going to play from memory!
The thing is I don't really want to over emphasise it. I know I could play very well and I can sound very beautiful (even though I am not a very beautiful person by looking but it's such a compensation knowing that the music flowing out of my fingers can be amazing and I know I am not being modest now but it's here in my blog nobody would see it so I just allow myself to speak something from my heart sometimes I truly consider my own playing amazing who can against it if you want to against it please listen to it first!) So I hope I could focus on making amazing music instead of worrying about making mistakes.... But I just couldn't help feeling that my mistakes are ruining my lovely music!!! HELP! Here here! Here is a pianist who desperately needs some help.........
Enough talking.
Good night.
XinRu
Who just ate nearly a whole pack of caramel rice cake and right now feeling super guilty......
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